A Tragic Loss

RIP 2 Bottles of Redback 15:40-15:45, 28/10/06.

Dear reader.



It is with great sadness that I announce the tragic loss at 15:45AEST on Saturday the 28th of October, of 2 bottles of Redback beer.

In a freak accident, as I exited my motor vehicle, the six pack fell to the ground in what can only be described as a moment of sheer horror.

I never had the chance to taste these two bottles. I lay awake at night wondering just how good they must have been.

The rest of the six pack were bloody awesome!!!

The Sheik's plan for Aussie women

.....Tuesday nights the truck comes. Where I live, anyway.

Sheik apologises over rape claims

http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,20645635-2,00.html

...and so he fucken should apologise.

I am sick to fucken death of these cunts coming to Australia, allegedly, to lead a better life, then bringing their 3rd world ideals with them

Sheik TajMahalwhatever, here's an idea. If you don't like how Aussie girls dress, FUCK OFF back to the fucken desert.

The only reason that your lot ask women to cover up, is because the males lack self control. Here's another idea.... learn some self control. Learn NOT TO RAPE WOMEN.

Fucken cunts.

Maty, What beer you drinking this week?

Why it's James Squires Amber Ale!

This used to be my favorite beer! (Please await the week when I announce my current favorite).

Quite a mild tasting beer this one. Not bitter at all, a little sweet.
As always, chill it until ice is almost forming in the neck and enjoy!!

My imaginary friend is better than yours.

….as one of my colleagues says. He has aspirations of being Australia’s first dictator. I will vote for him.

Does God exist? Did Jesus exist? Buddha? Does Allah?, (yes, the Danish have drawn pictures of him so they must have seen him).

Does Mickey Mouse exist? Cartman from South Park? Mr Hankey for that matter?

Well, no. To most of the above. Possibly. Who knows?

What is religion? Why do people follow such beliefs?

I grew up attending Catholic schools. Two, in fact. My high school was a Marist college. Marist brothers allegedly vow a life of poverty. I saw no evidence of this. Quite the opposite. They all drove fairly new cars. Their living quarters seemed to be quite comfortable with life’s luxuries at hand. In fact, they drove better cars and lived in better appointed houses than my parents or my friends parents had.

I attended church as regularly as forced to do so. I was “conditioned” with their music. Strength in my later life allowed me to overcome this conditioning. I recall sitting in classrooms at school, being “brainwashed” through the continuous recital of propaganda in the form songs. It was fun, during later years, to “make up” alternate lyrics to such songs. Many a time, I remember the dirty looks from teachers and other compliant students, as my friends and I held back tears of laughter at our ingenious lyrics.

Toilet humour never loses its edge.

Back then, I didn’t think much of all this. Now days, I am a little wiser.

Firstly, I am not “Satanic” or even atheist. I’ll sum up my religion now.

1) God most likely exists.

2) Enjoy everything in life, as long as it does not harm or interfere with others.

That’s it.

When I observe religion in action, the overriding theme I see is control. Stories of the bible, I believe are not documentaries of actual events. Rather, they are a series of carefully structured stories to guide people through life. All well and good. However, these guides are being abused by religious nutters who use them to control, rather than as a guide.

For example, what harm is there in adultery if you and the wife are mutually indulging in a session at the local swingers club?

As Australia’s first dictator, my colleague has pledged to ban all public displays of religious preference.

Wouldn’t the world be better off? We wouldn’t have Christian John, Solomon Jew, Osama Islam, Jimmy Buddhist and Raj Hindu arguing over whose imaginary friend is better.

Wars and civil unrest would be dramatically reduced. Christmas could be allowed to fully develop into something that is simply a celebration of families getting together.

Ramadan would be a time for reflecting on our eating habits. A time to give our bodies a rest from the over sugared, preservative laden crap we eat now days.

But best of all, you wouldn’t get harassed by nutters on street corners trying to recruit more victims to their beliefs. No more people with an agenda preying on the weak. Oh and think of all the innocent children that would no longer be molested by religious figures.

Chinese Police Transport Vehicle

Good to see it back

Channel Seven, last night, brought back
some classic comedy!"Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em", "Are You Being Served"? and "George & Mildred"


I grew up watching this stuff! Genuinely clever comedy.



Nowadays, TV seems to be filled with show after show about murder, hospitals or those shitty reality shows.

Those so called "comedy shows" that do feature, are all tacky American sitcoms, in which confrontation seems to be the basis of the "comedy" element. (Incidentally, confrontation seems to be the basis of American society).


There are so many great comedy series that should be replayed! Bring back the ENTIRE series of "The Goodies". Channel Seven bought the rights to these in the mid to late 80's after many years of being aired on the ABC. This included a new series, which was only aired once by Seven. I'd love to see it again as I really don't remember it! My favorite Goodies episode would have to the the Rolf Harris episode. The goodies have to round up a plague of mini Rolf's and what better way to do this that dressed as Aussie "Pied Pipers" complete with didgeridoos!

Bit more clever than a fat smart arse 5 year old kid arguing with his dad over which baseball star can eat more donuts.

What about "The Young Ones"? "Bottom"? Anything by Monty Python? Oh yeah, it's all British comedy so far.... but are they not the pioneers of comedy?

Well, of course there is classic Aussie comedy too. The warped humour in "The Aunty Jack Show", "Norman Gunston", a spin off of this show.

"Fast Forward" and it's descendant, "Full Frontal" would have to be some of the funniest Aussie comedy that I can recall.

So what about today? Sacha Barron Cohen is today's comic genius. Borat, who could be compared in some ways to Norman Gunston, is currently my favorite comedy character. A headache for the government of Kazakhstan, yet I feel he takes the piss out America just as much as Kazakhstan.... it's just that the Kazakhs are smart enough to realise.







"Little Britain" is damn funny..... yes, it's quite vulgar, but has me in stitches! So many characters by just 2 blokes. I await the next installment!!


"The Chaser's War On Everything" is Australia's current King of comedy! These blokes take the piss out of anything and everything! They are not afraid, to the point of police intervention in some of their sketches!

My favorite of all at the moment however is South park. No joke is out of bounds. Matt Stone and Trey Parker are pure genius. Twice now, they have managed to produce a cartoon that ends up being imitated in real life.... rather than the other way around.

"Bigger, Longer and uncut", (obviously not a reference to Kyles manhood), was a cartoon movie about public outcry over a bunch of kids seeing a cartoon movie that was intended for adults only.

A movie about itself! Clever.

Then there was the episode about Scientology, in which Tom cruise locked himself in a closet and wouldn't come out. At the end of this episode he threatens to sue for being made to look like a fool.

After airing, the real life Cruise did just that!

Stone/Parker..... fucken geniuses!

Todays CD...."In Your Honor"

This is arguably the best album by the Foo Fighters!!! So powerful! To me, this is like Nirvanas "In Utero".... raw sounding! Not "clean" or "processed". My highlights... 1) In your honor 2) No way back 3) Best of you 7) Free me 9) The deepest blues are black

I forgot to mention......

Disclaimer!!

The Beastie Boys are an exception to my previous post!

A bunch of retards

This should set the scene for my blog page!

Was roped into seeing some "Aussie Hip Hop" last night, at The Zoo in Brisbane's Fortitude Valley. I had fuck all to do anyway and my mate Eden was paying the entry fee. (Fuck! you mean people actually pay to see this shit)!

Awkward arm and hand manouvers, jeans... crotches hanging just above the knees, caps worn at stupid angles and heights and was I the only person in posession of a pair of shoelaces? What's with these fucken slip on shoes? Could it be that they lack the mental capacity to tie shoelaces?

Taking the piss a few years back
Kamakura, Japan.

In actual fact, it was fascinating! It was like observing a group of retarded children performing for another group of retarded children..... only the performers and audience were not as talented and smart as retarded children.

I'd better stop this comparison.... it's not fair to compare disabled people to a bunch of losers with baggy clothing, fucked up haircuts and caps worn at an exaggerated height.

One of the "acts" actually used real instruments! shock horror! A guitar, (albeit, for one song only), a bass and a drum kit! Though the turd on the "turntables" proved his lack of knowledge when it comes to the English language. His cap had a capital "K" upon it.

Cunt is actually spelt with a "C".

They called themselves the "Winnie Coopers". Their name, appears to be a reference to Winfield cigarettes and Coopers beer.

If I were Coopers, I'd sue these little fags for defaming the company name.

One member attempted to give me a free CD. I told him "Sorry, it would not fit in with my CD collection".

The question that needs asking :- Why give away your Cd's? Does your music not sell itself?

All in all, it was the biggest gathering of wankers I have ever experienced.

I couldn't help but think back a few weeks to the "Black label society" concert at Brisbane's Arena in Fortitude Valley. Would be mad to get the audience from this concert, clad in black shirts, tattoos and facial hair, in the same room as the little cunts from the hip hop gig.

I suppose, the more you tolerate, the more "neutral" you become. On that note, I'd like to grow my hair long again and start wearing black shirts more often.

Taken today.