Maty talks sh!t

One more post for the night!

2007-01-09T22:21:00.000+10:00

Click on the picture

Fools unite! Jesus is back!

2007-01-09T21:49:00.000+10:00

Next time I am in Sydney, I must remember to grab a can of paint and a brush and head down to Waverton station.

http://www.news.com.au/dailytelegraph/story/0,22049,21023886-5001021,00.html

For at this station, the misguided and the weak in our society are gathering to witness the result of years of poor maintenance. I think I should do my bit and give the platform a long overdue coat of paint.

Those whose lives are empty, requiring some kind of faith for fulfillment, believe that Jesus has returned in the form of paint, brick and filthy brake dust.

That's right folks, these nutters are up in arms, praising that fictional character Jesus as he appears before them just metres away from the railway tracks.

While we are on the subject of religious garbage, here is an article worth a read....

http://www.theaustralian.news.com.au/story/0,20867,21029153-7583,00.html

Yep. Them media journalists is smart.

2007-01-09T21:11:00.000+10:00

About as pathetic as the mis-use of English in title of this post, (and throughout all my blogs), are journalists. Before reading the rest of my post, please read the offending article in here.....

http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,21035418-2,00.html

Now for some facts.

"Channel 7 reported that tyre debris tore a "huge hole", "three-metres long", in the jet's fuselage"

FACT:- If there were a "huge hole" in the fuselage, it would have been impossible for the aircraft to maintain a cabin altitude of approximately 8000ft. Above this altitude, passengers would require oxygen. This scenario is highly unlikely to have occurred, as the aircraft traveled SAFELY from Singapore to Frankfurt.

FACT:- If there were a "huge hole" in the fuselage, there would be catastrophic metal fatigue such that the fuselage would have torn apart mid flight, causing the aircraft to crash.

I do not know the full facts of this incident, however, it is highly likely that the "huge holes" sustained during the tyre blow out, were to the wing to body fairings. (See diagram from the Boeing website. The green areas would have sustained damage).

These are composite panels, mounted beween the fuselage and the wings to improve aerodynamics. They are made of materials such as kevlar and carbon fibre on most aircraft.

Damage to these areas do NOT pose serious danger to the airworthiness of the aircraft however, damage may increase drag and therefore, reduce fuel efficiency. BIG FUCKEN DEAL.

How do I know this? Because I work on these planes.

This is yet another typical example of journalists mis-reporting the facts.

Stocktake sales are a fucken rort.

2006-12-31T21:59:00.000+10:00

Well. 'Bout time I posted again. Today, I went shopping for some couch covers. $200 each at DJ's (geez.... thats half the cost of a new couch), so it was off to good old K-mart, Target and Big W.

The fun begins.

This is the time of the year when stores such as these hold big sales. Stocktake sales mainly. Lucky for me, Target had 30% off. Surprise surprise though, as with all these sales, there is only ever one of the size you want and one of each colour on the shelf.

This is intentional. It must be. K-mart had a similar sale and yes, you guessed it, just one of each size and colour available. Whenever there is a sale, I am sure these bastards remove all but one of each item, knowing full well that if someone needs two, they will be forced to come back later, once the sale has ended and buy the second matching item at full price.

The ONLY store that had more than one of each item, was Big W. No sale there today.

I experienced a similar thing once when shopping for T shirts.... they were about $30 each or buy two for $40. Various sizes and colours available... great until you start looking closer. All the "S" size were same colour. All the "M" a different colour. Yep. If your size happened to be "L", you could buy 2 blue shirts! If it were small, you could buy two green. Pricks.

K-mart, Target, and Big W (only because if you had a sale, you would pull the same stunt)... FUCK YOU!

Stupid sunglasses

2006-11-14T21:30:00.000+10:00

Speaking of irrelevant wankers with stuipid eyewear.....

Back in June, whilst visiting London, I noticed that many girls, (and even some "metrosexual" guys), were wering completely ridiculously large sunglasses. The sorts of things that "rich and famous" women wore back in the sixties.

Unfortunately, now that summer is upon us down here in the Southern Hemisphere, it sadly seems the trend has caught on.

A word on these glasses.... THEY LOOK FUCKING STUPID!

Their sole purpose seems to be attention seeking. "Look at me, I am wearing fucking stupid sunglasses". It's the same as the kid with the 3ft high boot spoiler on his Hyundai, or the sluts that dance on "podiums" at nightclubs. Attention seeking fucks.

At least your fucked up fashion enables people to clearly see just how superficial and irrelevant you really are.

The most over-rated band in history

2006-11-08T17:39:00.000+10:00

Yep folks. They played here in Brisbane last night. The most over-rated band in the universe. The most over-rated band of all time.

Don't take my word for it, read about how pathetic this band is here

Brisbane transport even made buses free for the concert!! I am sure that was because the fans, being illiterate arseholes, would cause major delays when attempting to work out what coins to use to pay the fare.

The loony left contradicts themselves once again.

2006-11-05T14:38:00.000+10:00

As we finally start discussing the viability of nuclear power generation, the loony left, (arts students who will never work, are vegetarians, don't wash and honestly believe that homosexuals can have children), once again show their stupidity.

There are two elements of waste produced in nuclear power generation. A small amount of low level waste, which poses danger for only a few years. NOT a cause of "global warming". The second is a higher level waste... around a tonne a year only from an average sized power station. This must be stored carefully however, it does NOT cause "global warming" and will not poison the environment as claimed by the loonies.

No burning of fossil fuels, thus producing carbon etc. No destruction of trees of forests to make way for hydroelectricity. The environmental effects are extremely minimal compared to conventional power generation sources.

Australia has an abundant supply of uranium. Cheap, clean and efficient.

Chernobyl. Old technology. Built with complete lack of regard to safety. Russian. It cannot be used as an example of nuclear power being "unsafe"

The same loonies believe that electric cars are environmentally friendly.... but at the same time, the complain about the harmful effects of power generation.

Do they also consider the toxic waste of the batteries used in these vehicles once they are past their used by date.

No.

Because the loonies just wanna bludge, smoke pot and protest at every opportunity.

GET JOBS YOU LAZY FUCKS. HAVE A WASH AND STOP FUCKEN PROTESTING OVER SHIT YOU HAVE NO CLUE ABOUT.

Evils join forces

2006-11-02T17:35:00.000+10:00

This week, our beloved four-eyed little cunt in Canberra, Johny Fuckwit Howard, has decided that it would be a good idea to place "chaplains" in schools. I found it strange at first, but thought he is a funny guy and may be able to cheer up the down and out students.

I then realised what he meant. Of course, old Charlies name is spelt differently, anyway. Fuckstick Howard, wants to place these chaplains in schools to help counsel students during times of grief. I find this ridiculious, as Christianity is often the cause of grief to some people.

Old rule... DO NOT MIX POLITICS WITH RELIGION!!!!

Most of the people againsed this ridiculous idea, state that it's not right to have a christian counselor when there may be children of other faiths attending the school. WRONG!!!

The idea is not right, FULL STOP! Christianity is not the issue. Counseling should have NO religious bias.

Some complain that if a student is having sexual preference issues, and they approach the chaplain, they may get the wrong advise. WRONG!!!

They will get the right advise, (Don't be gay), but for the wrong reasons.

Religion does more harm than good. This is just another brainwashing exercise by religious nutters and Mr Sheen (four-eyed cunt in Canberra)

What is wrong with religiously neutral counselors? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THAT????

Howard, there is only one person in politics we hate more than you. Costello. So step down now, hand over to that cunt, and lets watch the Liberal party get completely arse raped at the next election.

About time I posted a recipe

2006-11-01T18:04:00.000+10:00

Massaman Curry

This is a very delicious Thai beef curry. The recipe below is adapted from about 3 or 4 different recipes that I have tried, adjusted to my tastes. This is as good as any Massaman I have had at a restaurant.

1/2 Kilo Diced beef
1 tbs Vegetable oil
500 ml Light coconut cream
2-3 tbs Massaman curry paste (Made in Thailand only)
1 cup Chicken stock
1/2 cup Unsalted peanuts
2 medium Potatos, peeled, rough cut to 1" chunks
1/2 tbs Fish Sauce
1 tbs Tamarind paste
1 Cinnamon stick
2 Bay leaves
4 Cardamom pods, bruised
1 1/2 tbs Palm sugar, grated

In a large saucepan, heat the oil medium to high heat. Brown beef evenly in the oil, constantly stirring. Remove to a plate along with juices. Adjust heat to medium and add 2 tablespoons of coconut cream to the pan, stirring for 30 seconds. Add the curry paste, stirring for a further minute. Return the beef and juices to the pan. Add the remaining coconut cream, chicken stock, peanuts, potatoes, fish sauce, tamarind paste, cinnamon stick, bay leaves, cardamom pods and palm sugar. Now reduce the heat to low. Cover and simmer for aproximately 90 minutes until beef is very tender. If the curry appears to be too dry, add either coconut cream or chicken stock. Serve over jasmine rice.

A Tragic Loss

2006-10-28T16:10:00.000+10:00

RIP 2 Bottles of Redback 15:40-15:45, 28/10/06.

Dear reader.

It is with great sadness that I announce the tragic loss at 15:45AEST on Saturday the 28th of October, of 2 bottles of Redback beer.

In a freak accident, as I exited my motor vehicle, the six pack fell to the ground in what can only be described as a moment of sheer horror.

I never had the chance to taste these two bottles. I lay awake at night wondering just how good they must have been.

The rest of the six pack were bloody awesome!!!

The Sheik's plan for Aussie women

2006-10-26T21:11:00.000+10:00

.....Tuesday nights the truck comes. Where I live, anyway.

Sheik apologises over rape claims

2006-10-26T16:55:00.000+10:00

http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,20645635-2,00.html

...and so he fucken should apologise.

I am sick to fucken death of these cunts coming to Australia, allegedly, to lead a better life, then bringing their 3rd world ideals with them

Sheik TajMahalwhatever, here's an idea. If you don't like how Aussie girls dress, FUCK OFF back to the fucken desert.

The only reason that your lot ask women to cover up, is because the males lack self control. Here's another idea.... learn some self control. Learn NOT TO RAPE WOMEN.

Fucken cunts.

Maty, What beer you drinking this week?

2006-10-25T01:36:00.000+10:00

Why it's James Squires Amber Ale!

This used to be my favorite beer! (Please await the week when I announce my current favorite).

Quite a mild tasting beer this one. Not bitter at all, a little sweet.
As always, chill it until ice is almost forming in the neck and enjoy!!

My imaginary friend is better than yours.

2006-10-24T22:23:00.000+10:00

….as one of my colleagues says. He has aspirations of being Australia’s first dictator. I will vote for him.

Does God exist? Did Jesus exist? Buddha? Does Allah?, (yes, the Danish have drawn pictures of him so they must have seen him).

Does Mickey Mouse exist? Cartman from South Park? Mr Hankey for that matter?

Well, no. To most of the above. Possibly. Who knows?

What is religion? Why do people follow such beliefs?

I grew up attending Catholic schools. Two, in fact. My high school was a Marist college. Marist brothers allegedly vow a life of poverty. I saw no evidence of this. Quite the opposite. They all drove fairly new cars. Their living quarters seemed to be quite comfortable with life’s luxuries at hand. In fact, they drove better cars and lived in better appointed houses than my parents or my friends parents had.

I attended church as regularly as forced to do so. I was “conditioned” with their music. Strength in my later life allowed me to overcome this conditioning. I recall sitting in classrooms at school, being “brainwashed” through the continuous recital of propaganda in the form songs. It was fun, during later years, to “make up” alternate lyrics to such songs. Many a time, I remember the dirty looks from teachers and other compliant students, as my friends and I held back tears of laughter at our ingenious lyrics.

Toilet humour never loses its edge.

Back then, I didn’t think much of all this. Now days, I am a little wiser.

Firstly, I am not “Satanic” or even atheist. I’ll sum up my religion now.

1) God most likely exists.

2) Enjoy everything in life, as long as it does not harm or interfere with others.

That’s it.

When I observe religion in action, the overriding theme I see is control. Stories of the bible, I believe are not documentaries of actual events. Rather, they are a series of carefully structured stories to guide people through life. All well and good. However, these guides are being abused by religious nutters who use them to control, rather than as a guide.

For example, what harm is there in adultery if you and the wife are mutually indulging in a session at the local swingers club?

As Australia’s first dictator, my colleague has pledged to ban all public displays of religious preference.

Wouldn’t the world be better off? We wouldn’t have Christian John, Solomon Jew, Osama Islam, Jimmy Buddhist and Raj Hindu arguing over whose imaginary friend is better.

Wars and civil unrest would be dramatically reduced. Christmas could be allowed to fully develop into something that is simply a celebration of families getting together.

Ramadan would be a time for reflecting on our eating habits. A time to give our bodies a rest from the over sugared, preservative laden crap we eat now days.

But best of all, you wouldn’t get harassed by nutters on street corners trying to recruit more victims to their beliefs. No more people with an agenda preying on the weak. Oh and think of all the innocent children that would no longer be molested by religious figures.

Chinese Police Transport Vehicle

2006-10-22T21:39:00.000+10:00

Good to see it back

2006-10-22T15:28:00.000+10:00

Channel Seven, last night, brought back
some classic comedy!"Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em", "Are You Being Served"? and "George & Mildred"

I grew up watching this stuff! Genuinely clever comedy.

Nowadays, TV seems to be filled with show after show about murder, hospitals or those shitty reality shows.

Those so called "comedy shows" that do feature, are all tacky American sitcoms, in which confrontation seems to be the basis of the "comedy" element. (Incidentally, confrontation seems to be the basis of American society).

There are so many great comedy series that should be replayed! Bring back the ENTIRE series of "The Goodies". Channel Seven bought the rights to these in the mid to late 80's after many years of being aired on the ABC. This included a new series, which was only aired once by Seven. I'd love to see it again as I really don't remember it! My favorite Goodies episode would have to the the Rolf Harris episode. The goodies have to round up a plague of mini Rolf's and what better way to do this that dressed as Aussie "Pied Pipers" complete with didgeridoos!

Bit more clever than a fat smart arse 5 year old kid arguing with his dad over which baseball star can eat more donuts.

What about "The Young Ones"? "Bottom"? Anything by Monty Python? Oh yeah, it's all British comedy so far.... but are they not the pioneers of comedy?

Well, of course there is classic Aussie comedy too. The warped humour in "The Aunty Jack Show", "Norman Gunston", a spin off of this show.

"Fast Forward" and it's descendant, "Full Frontal" would have to be some of the funniest Aussie comedy that I can recall.

So what about today? Sacha Barron Cohen is today's comic genius. Borat, who could be compared in some ways to Norman Gunston, is currently my favorite comedy character. A headache for the government of Kazakhstan, yet I feel he takes the piss out America just as much as Kazakhstan.... it's just that the Kazakhs are smart enough to realise.

"Little Britain" is damn funny..... yes, it's quite vulgar, but has me in stitches! So many characters by just 2 blokes. I await the next installment!!

"The Chaser's War On Everything" is Australia's current King of comedy! These blokes take the piss out of anything and everything! They are not afraid, to the point of police intervention in some of their sketches!

My favorite of all at the moment however is South park. No joke is out of bounds. Matt Stone and Trey Parker are pure genius. Twice now, they have managed to produce a cartoon that ends up being imitated in real life.... rather than the other way around.

"Bigger, Longer and uncut", (obviously not a reference to Kyles manhood), was a cartoon movie about public outcry over a bunch of kids seeing a cartoon movie that was intended for adults only.

A movie about itself! Clever.

Then there was the episode about Scientology, in which Tom cruise locked himself in a closet and wouldn't come out. At the end of this episode he threatens to sue for being made to look like a fool.

After airing, the real life Cruise did just that!

Stone/Parker..... fucken geniuses!

Todays CD...."In Your Honor"

2006-10-21T22:07:00.000+10:00

This is arguably the best album by the Foo Fighters!!! So powerful! To me, this is like Nirvanas "In Utero".... raw sounding! Not "clean" or "processed".

My highlights...

1) In your honor
2) No way back
3) Best of you
7) Free me
9) The deepest blues are black

I forgot to mention......

2006-10-21T20:57:00.000+10:00

Disclaimer!!

The Beastie Boys are an exception to my previous post!

A bunch of retards

2006-10-21T19:28:00.000+10:00

This should set the scene for my blog page!

Was roped into seeing some "Aussie Hip Hop" last night, at The Zoo in Brisbane's Fortitude Valley. I had fuck all to do anyway and my mate Eden was paying the entry fee. (Fuck! you mean people actually pay to see this shit)!

Awkward arm and hand manouvers, jeans... crotches hanging just above the knees, caps worn at stupid angles and heights and was I the only person in posession of a pair of shoelaces? What's with these fucken slip on shoes? Could it be that they lack the mental capacity to tie shoelaces?

Taking the piss a few years back
Kamakura, Japan.

In actual fact, it was fascinating! It was like observing a group of retarded children performing for another group of retarded children..... only the performers and audience were not as talented and smart as retarded children.

I'd better stop this comparison.... it's not fair to compare disabled people to a bunch of losers with baggy clothing, fucked up haircuts and caps worn at an exaggerated height.

One of the "acts" actually used real instruments! shock horror! A guitar, (albeit, for one song only), a bass and a drum kit! Though the turd on the "turntables" proved his lack of knowledge when it comes to the English language. His cap had a capital "K" upon it.

Cunt is actually spelt with a "C".

They called themselves the "Winnie Coopers". Their name, appears to be a reference to Winfield cigarettes and Coopers beer.

If I were Coopers, I'd sue these little fags for defaming the company name.

One member attempted to give me a free CD. I told him "Sorry, it would not fit in with my CD collection".

The question that needs asking :- Why give away your Cd's? Does your music not sell itself?

All in all, it was the biggest gathering of wankers I have ever experienced.

I couldn't help but think back a few weeks to the "Black label society" concert at Brisbane's Arena in Fortitude Valley. Would be mad to get the audience from this concert, clad in black shirts, tattoos and facial hair, in the same room as the little cunts from the hip hop gig.

I suppose, the more you tolerate, the more "neutral" you become. On that note, I'd like to grow my hair long again and start wearing black shirts more often.

Taken today.